Habits That Keep A Relationship Healthy

A healthy relationship rests on love and respect, and it should also help each person grow. Relationships are delicate. Most of them pass through stormy stretches before they settle into something solid. These habits help a bond stay healthy and happy.

Bring back the first-year effort

With time, most of us relax into the comfortable equivalent of old tracksuit bottoms and stop trying. Patience, gentleness, thoughtfulness, understanding and the everyday effort we once put in all slip away. Think back to your first year together. Write down the things you did for your partner then, and bring them back.

Let it go

Anger and quarrels waste time. You may be hurt and you may be right, but sometimes the wiser move is to drop it. Pride will try to stop you. Set it aside and be the first to offer peace. You are not at war, and this is not a debate you need to win. Nobody gains anything from a fight.

Talk, even when it is uncomfortable

Most relationship troubles start when partners keep their feelings to themselves. A healthy, open bond needs both people to speak honestly to each other. Trouble also grows when partners start guessing at meanings and reading certain words or actions as hidden signals.

Change yourself, not your partner

When you love someone and expect them to drop, in time, the habits that bother you, reconsider. Want something different? Say so plainly, so your partner is clear about what you want.

Accept that you are different

People are far more different from each other than any popular book suggests. Understanding those differences, and even enjoying them, makes a shared life calmer, more interesting and more fun.

Hold a weekly check-in

Set aside a regular time, long or short, to ask each other what went well last week, what did not, and what could be better this week. Use it to line up your diaries, plan an evening out together, and talk about what you both hope for in the days, weeks and months ahead. Without a deliberate moment to take the temperature, unmet needs and resentment quietly pile up.

Get a regular tune-up

At least once a year, attend a workshop for couples, speak with a counsellor or read a book on relationships together. Even if it seems unnecessary, you will pick up an idea or two, and doing it together strengthens the connection.

Give what you hope to receive

What we need changes over the years. If you want to be understood, be more understanding. If you want more love, offer more. It is a simple rule, and it works.