Few phrases are heard more often from young children than “This is mine!” In a small child’s world, everything revolves around them, so it is easy to see why sharing does not come naturally. As parents, we need to show them by example what sharing is worth. Here are some ways to teach it.

Create a sharing environment

The first thing to understand is that forcing a child to share achieves little. Instead, build a home where sharing is simply part of daily life, so it grows on its own.

Keep in mind that a child never sees a toy as merely a toy. It is a treasured possession to be guarded. While you teach sharing, respect a normal amount of possessiveness, and gently encourage the habit of giving others a turn.

Talk to your child

Help your child explore the feelings that come with sharing. If they are holding something back, explain how their friends might feel about it. Help them see how happy a friend would be if they could play together with the toy, and point out that a friend’s happiness can make them happy too.

Look for everyday moments. At snack time, for example, praise how nicely your child is dividing the biscuits, and point out how enjoyable a treat becomes when it is shared.

Try a little role play

If your child has become an expert at saying no, try swapping roles. While playing together, when your child asks you for something, simply say no. When they get upset, talk with them about how that felt, and how they would not want their friends to feel the same way. The next time they hesitate to share, you can gently remind them of that moment.

Sharing is learnt slowly, one small moment at a time. Patience and a good example will do most of the teaching.

Some people seem ready for anything. No challenge feels too large for them, they find answers to problems that look impossible, and very little rattles them.

What they have is a can-do attitude: the conviction that whatever comes along and whatever life has in store, they will come through it and succeed. When they face an uncomfortable situation, they act, because they know success is possible, and perhaps even certain, for anyone who keeps trying. Here is how to grow that attitude in yourself.

Build real confidence

People with this outlook have plenty of self belief. Success leans heavily on trusting your own ability and on a firm sense of your own worth, the knowledge that you matter. Strengthen yours by staying open to learning and growing, and by paying close attention both to yourself and to the people around you.

Stop comparing yourself unfavourably

Telling yourself you will never be as good as someone else only drags you down. Instead, ask what you can learn from the person you keep measuring yourself against. What do they do that you could copy, so that you too can reach the kind of success you see in them?

Shape the image you want to project

Decide on the confident presence you wish to have. Choose people to look up to and learn from how they carry themselves.

Present yourself well

Make the most of how you look and carry yourself. Take care over grooming, and dress in a way that is professional yet comfortable. When you feel put together, you tend to act with more assurance.

Quiet the inner critic

Let go of the voice that scolds you every time something does not go to plan. Do not give it your attention. Look calmly at what happened and learn from it instead. That is how you grow and move forward.

Dream big and do not be afraid of taking risks. Things have a way of working out for those who keep going.

No one has all the answers, and no one can be right every time. Still, most of us know someone who acts as if they are the only person who knows best. They are usually the hardest people to deal with.

Studies of human behaviour suggest that the need to always be right can come from several places. It may be driven by self interest, or by a simple fear of being shown to be wrong. Either way, trying to win every point is often a pointless struggle. Here are three traits common in people who believe they are never wrong, and why the belief tends to backfire.

They keep interrupting

Research into emotional intelligence suggests that some people lack the awareness needed to rein in their urge to control a conversation, which leaves them prone to cutting others off. It makes them look like know it alls, and it is also seen as poor manners to break in and show off knowledge nobody asked for. It makes a person seem less approachable and less considerate.

If you believe you are always right, you are also likely to be a poor listener. You are so eager to make your point that you stop hearing others, hurry them through their explanations, or brush their words aside. All of this points to weak listening skills.

They will not empathise

Beyond interrupting, people who think they are always right tend to ignore other social courtesies, and often end up getting things wrong. They shut others out of the conversation and refuse to accept how others feel. People with strong emotional intelligence adjust their behaviour to those around them rather than insisting on getting their way. By that measure, a friend who is always opinionated shows little emotional intelligence, because they cannot see or respect your point of view.

They are always on the defensive

Someone who must always be right is frequently defensive, and dealing with them can put you on the defensive too. Having to keep justifying your views and choices against steady opposition is tiring. The temptation is to let it turn into a full argument, but the wiser course is to manage your own reactions and decline a fight that will settle nothing. In doing so, you set an example the other person may one day follow.

Turn the mirror around

When someone keeps insisting they are right and you are wrong, pause for a moment. There may be some truth in what they are saying. It is worth asking honestly whether you might be the one who needs to change.

A warrior, in the sense that matters for everyday life, is not someone who never faces hardship. It is someone who has made up their mind about how to meet it. These are the principles such people live by.

1. Life is not fair, and they live fully anyway

The world will not always treat you justly, and things will not always go your way. Warriors accept this and still choose to live life to the full.

2. Gratitude

For all they could complain about, and despite the injustices they have faced, they count their blessings every single day. They hold on to the belief that life has been generous to them.

3. Control

They do not fret over whether they will win or lose. Their attention stays on what lies within their power, and they give that their complete effort.

4. Motivation

They turn the negatives in their lives into their strongest fuel. They know that hard times do not last.

5. Commitment

They judge success by how much of themselves they pour into the task in front of them.

6. Negative people

They tune out those who say it cannot be done. They keep reminding themselves why their dreams can come true, and they refuse to let negativity steal their joy or their love for what they are working towards.

7. Mistakes

When they get something wrong, they own it at once and ask for forgiveness. They do not allow ego to stand in their way.

8. Dreaming big and staying unstoppable

They are not afraid to dream on a grand scale, even though it means facing fear, mockery and failure. There is a fire inside them to achieve. For them, the one genuine failure is to stop trying. Each setback and each stumble brings them a step closer to their goal, and nothing can make them quit.

Imagine you had to choose. On one side, a shorter working day and more hours to yourself. On the other, a longer working day with a better salary. Would you rather have more time with family and friends, or more financial security?

What the research found

A study found that people who valued time above money tended to be more satisfied with their lives, and that satisfaction translated into greater happiness. Spending free hours on things you enjoy delivers a far deeper sense of fulfilment over the long run.

The evidence also shows that spending on experiences makes people much happier than spending on possessions.

We live through our connections

Human beings are social by nature. We draw our energy from relationships: from a busy social life, from laughter with friends, from time with a partner and family, and from doing the things we love most.

The hours will run out

It is easy to forget that time is limited. A day will come when there is none left, and sadly none of us can know when that day will arrive. We quietly persuade ourselves that we will be here forever, and so we let slip chance after chance to spend those precious seconds well.

Time moves on. Life keeps happening. The point is to make sure you are actually living it. Guard your free hours as carefully as your earnings, and spend them on the people and pursuits that matter most to you.

This post is about happiness, not financial planning. For decisions about income, savings or work arrangements, speak with a qualified financial adviser.

After a bath in the river, an elephant was making its way along the road. As it came near a bridge, it saw a pig heading towards it from the other side, covered from snout to tail in mud. Without a word, the elephant moved to one side, let the grimy pig go by, and then carried on with its journey.

The pig’s boast

Later, the pig bragged to its friends. “Look how mighty I am,” it said. “Even the elephant was scared of me and stepped aside to let me through.”

When the other elephants heard this, they asked their friend why it had given way. Was it fear?

The elephant’s answer

The elephant smiled. “I could easily have crushed that pig under my foot,” it said. “But I was clean, and the pig was filthy. Had I stepped on it, my own foot would have been covered in dirt. I wanted to avoid that, so I simply moved aside.”

The lesson

People who have grown wise keep their distance from negativity. They do not do this because they are afraid. They do it because they want to stay clear of what would soil them, even though they are strong enough to overpower it.

You do not have to respond to every opinion, every remark or every situation that comes your way. Let the drama pass and keep moving forward. Pick your battles with care. Not everything is worth your time and attention, and walking past something is often the strongest choice you can make.

Feeling lonely is not a life sentence. It is possible to soften it, and sometimes to shake it off completely. The key is to stop turning the problem over and over, and to fill your mind with activities that draw your attention elsewhere. Here are three simple ways to begin.

Stay busy and get out

When loneliness settles in, resist the urge to sit and dwell on it. Get up and go somewhere with plenty of people around. It does not matter if you know none of them. Simply being among others can lift your mood more than you expect.

Reach out to someone else who is lonely

You are far from the only one. Many people feel exactly as you do and have no idea how to cope with it. If you seek them out and make an effort to ease their loneliness, you will find in the end that you have eased your own as well. Kindness travels in both directions.

Change the pattern of your thoughts

Notice what you are feeding your mind. If your evenings are filled with films that leave you reaching for tissues, it may be time for a change. Try listening to music that lifts you, reading poems or other writing that inspires you, and watching programmes that leave you feeling lighter. Each of these helps to break the cycle of heavy, negative thinking.

These are only a few of the ways to loosen loneliness’s grip. The common thread is simple: move your body, turn towards others, and choose what fills your mind.

Children need love. They need boundaries. And they need a person they can admire and learn from. A parent’s task is to lead by example, living out the kind of behaviour we hope our children will take on.

Few things a parent does matter more, or bring more reward, than being a positive role model. It often asks for a close and honest look at how we live ourselves. Here are some ways to set an example that helps children build character and self respect.

Own your mistakes

Let your child see you admit when you get things wrong. Nobody is perfect, and when you are at fault, say sorry to your child plainly. This teaches acceptance and shows what a real apology looks like. Children tend to absorb our nature, and this habit will serve them for life.

Keep a positive approach

A negative outlook rubs off on children just as easily as a positive one. Keep a hopeful, affirming attitude towards life and its situations. When tension rises, do not lose your composure, because your child is learning how to handle pressure by watching you. A positive approach helps a child grow into a better human being, so choose your words and actions with care.

Teach a questioning mind

Children trust easily and look eagerly around them for people to copy. Help them understand that not every so called role model deserves that trust. Show them what healthy doubt looks like, and encourage them to listen to their own instincts.

Look after yourself

Being at your best begins with caring for yourself: enough sleep, time for exercise, and healthy ways to deal with difficult emotions without lashing out. Wearing yourself down by always putting everyone else first is not a wise move either. That is not the future you want for your child, so do not show it to them as the normal way to live.

Many of us long for a wise guide, someone who has travelled further along the road and can show us the way. Without one, we may feel unsure how to grow, and some people spend years searching with little to show for it, ending up frustrated and even lost.

The teacher is already with you

The encouraging truth is that the finest teacher you could hope for never leaves your side. It is your own life.

The people and events we meet each day have a great deal to teach us, provided we are willing to receive it. We often miss these teachers because they do not look or behave the way we imagine a wise person should. Yet they may carry real wisdom.

There are also people whose lesson is a warning: they show us precisely what we would rather not become. Every situation, from the trivial to the life changing, seems to arrive with the very lesson we need at that moment. Patience, compassion, perseverance, honesty and the art of letting go are all taught in this one classroom.

Honour the lesson each day

A few simple words can help us stay aware of this. Each morning, you might pause and say something like: “I respect the teacher my life has become. Let me have the wisdom to notice the teachers and lessons of this day, and the openness to take in what they offer.”

It also helps to set aside a little time every day to ask what life is trying to show you right now. The answer is often hidden in ordinary things:

• A hard stretch with your child could be a lesson in letting go.
• A person you pass every day who has no home may be showing you where your compassion and generosity end.
• A run of lost or misplaced things may be asking you to pay closer attention to the world around you.

Learn at your own pace

Trust your own sense of what the lesson is. Move at a pace that suits you, and question as freely as you need. Everything you need to learn is already unfolding in front of you.

There was once a young boy whose temper flared at the smallest thing. His father handed him a bag of nails and made a simple rule: whenever his anger got the better of him, the boy was to go out and drive one nail into the back fence.

Thirty seven nails in a day

By the end of that first day, thirty seven nails had gone into the wood. Over the weeks that followed, something shifted. Slowly he learnt to hold himself back, and the number of nails going into the fence dropped day by day. He found that keeping his temper was actually less work than walking out with the hammer every time.

At last there came a day when he did not lose his temper even once. Proudly, he told his father. The father then set a new task: for every day the boy managed to keep his temper, he could pull one nail back out.

The fence is never the same

Days went by, and finally the boy was able to report that every nail was gone. His father took his hand and led him out to look at the wood.

“Well done, son,” he said, “but look closely at these holes. This fence will never be quite what it was. Words spoken in anger leave marks exactly like these. You can push a knife into a person and pull it out again, but however many times you apologise, the wound remains.”

What the story asks of us

Apologies matter, and they should always be offered. Yet they do not undo what was said. The wiser course is to catch the words before they leave your mouth.

• Keep your anger in check, especially when a moment feels heated.
• Do not say things in that heat which you may be sorry for later.
• Remember that some things, once said, can never be taken back.

Every time you hold your tongue, you are pulling a nail out before it ever goes in.