Building the life you truly want often calls for a big change somewhere, whether in your career, your relationships or where you live. Change happens all the time anyway, and if we allow it, it can become the very thing that makes life better.

Think back to a moment when your instinct told you to try something new, yet you held back. Perhaps the outcome was uncertain or risky, or it meant stepping beyond what felt familiar. Perhaps you worried that your gut was mistaken and began doubting yourself. Try not to fear failure so much that you never attempt anything new. The saddest way to sum up a life is in three phrases: could have, might have and should have.

If you are ready to make an unusual leap of your own but feel frightened, the ideas below may help you find the courage to go ahead joyfully. Above all, you need conviction and faith in what you think and do.

Trust your inner voice

The quiet voice inside you has important things to tell you. Think of it as a wiser version of yourself saying, “I think you should go for it.” We live among people who tend to seek advice from others and overlook what they themselves are feeling. When your gut has something to say, trust it and act on it. More often than not, it proves right.

Stop fearing that it will all go wrong

Your mind loves to invent worst cases. You will leap and regret it. You will hate the new job, the new town or the new relationship. You will look back and wish you had stayed put. But if something you try does not work out, you can change it, try something else and keep moving. You are entitled to try as many things as you like and to explore the possibilities. Whenever something stops feeling right and you would prefer a different path, you have both the right and the freedom to choose again.

Look forward to what you can achieve

The unknown can feel scary, so try swapping that fear for excitement and longing for the goal you are chasing. Spend ten minutes each day picturing it. What does it look like? How does it feel? Who is there with you? The longer you can stay in that lively, hopeful state, the more naturally your passion will grow.

A leap of faith does not promise an easy ride. Obstacles will come and will need to be overcome. Yet we all know, from things like learning to drive, that the first step is the hardest, and that practice, experience and effort make it easier over time.

Convince yourself first

If you do not believe in your own thoughts and actions, persuading anyone else will be hard. A leap of faith starts with the certainty that you no longer want to continue down the road your life has been taking. It rests on a basic belief in yourself and a deep trust in your picture of who you want to be, what you want to do and where you want to go. Most of all, it is the belief that good things will follow when you decide to change your life.

Once upon a time, the most peace-loving people on Earth went to a mighty wizard and begged him to put an end to every war and every act of bloodshed on the planet.

“That is easy,” he said. “I will wipe out every weapon in the world, and then no one will be able to fight.” The people were delighted. With one sweep of his magic wand, it was done.

For three days the planet was peaceful. Those who liked to fight searched everywhere for weapons and found none. Once they realised the weapons were gone for good, they sharpened young trees into spears and the fighting began again.

When the wizard heard, he told the people not to worry. He would remove all the young trees so nobody could make spears. After a few days of fruitless searching, the fighters turned to the great trees instead, cut them down, fashioned clubs from them, and the violence returned. So the wizard got rid of all the big trees. Then people forged knives and swords from metal, so he got rid of every metal on the planet. Then they made slings and hurled stones at each other, so the stones had to go as well.

Now the peacekeepers grew anxious. The trees were gone, and so were the metals and the stones. How would anyone live? What would they eat? Soon nothing would grow, and people would perish without a single battle. This was clearly the wrong answer.

The wizard was at a loss. “I do not know what else to do,” he admitted. “The only remaining step would be to destroy humanity itself, and even that is beyond my power.” The peacekeepers sank into despair.

Then a bright child stepped forward. “I know what you should do,” the child said. “Let every person feel what their actions do to others. Whoever hurts someone should feel that same pain, and whoever brings someone happiness should feel that same happiness. Then nobody will hurt anyone, because they will feel the pain at once and will have to stop.”

Everyone was moved by the child’s wisdom, and the wizard did exactly as suggested. He brought back the trees, the stones and the metals. From that day on, no one tried to harm a neighbour, because they would share the hurt. Instead, people began helping each other, because they enjoyed the joy it brought them, and they lived together in harmony.

The lesson

No wizard will ever arrange this for us. But the child was pointing at something already true in a quieter way: the pain we cause others tends to find its way back to us, and the happiness we give comes back too. Living as if we could feel both is the surest path to peace.

Most of us know that relaxed people find it easier to be creative than people who are wound up. Can you wave stress away for good? Probably not. But being stressed is the last thing anyone wants, given all the harm it does, so the next time you feel the pressure building, try one of these enjoyable ways to beat it, or at least bring it down.

Head outdoors

When tension rises, take a stroll through a park or along a beach, or cycle through some woods. Even just gazing at a lovely picture of nature can work. Your spirits will start to rise, and you may find a calm you did not have before.

Laugh, even on purpose

Laughter eases stress in the moment and over time too, because it lowers stress hormones and brightens the way you see things. Even looking forward to a laugh helps you unwind. Watch a funny clip or go to a comedy show. You can even make yourself laugh deliberately. It feels odd to begin with, but before long the laughter turns real.

Spend time with an animal

Pets are good for us in many ways. Stroking an animal for only a few minutes can lower stress, and the unconditional affection pets offer is a tonic in itself. Take a dog for a walk if you can, since dogs have been bred to respond to human feelings and walking itself helps you relax. No animal nearby? Even a video of a sweet animal can help.

Share some jokes

Get together with friends who make you laugh. Laughter loosens tight nerves and lets the moment pass. You will still have to deal with the problem eventually, but some humour can relieve the pressure now so that you handle it more sensibly later.

Let your inner child out

Children seem less stressed than adults. Partly that is because they carry fewer responsibilities, but it is also because they play. Giving yourself playtime as a grown-up is easy. Play tag, fly a kite, build with toy bricks or try finger painting. Keep a box of fun toys from your childhood and see how much tension it melts away.

Disappear into a book

One of the kindest things you can do for yourself under stress is to slip into a world where your worries do not exist. A good book, perhaps a fantasy novel, can carry you off to somewhere else entirely.

Play a favourite song

Listening to music releases dopamine in the brain. Choose a song from a calmer time in your life and let it lift you.

Look through old photographs

Few things are as comforting as revisiting happy memories. Childhood is often the sweetest season of our lives, so browse pictures from your early years or from the moments that shaped who you are. You will probably laugh a little, and a few happy tears may follow.

Life keeps tossing new demands our way, and holding on to our drive through all of it is not easy. It does become easier, though, once you can recognise the mistakes that people most often make. Here are three of them.

Waiting to feel like it

It is rarely wise to lean on motivation alone to get things done, because it comes and goes without warning. If you only act when the mood strikes, you can spend years waiting for a spark that never arrives. Starting anyway, even without the feeling, is usually what brings the feeling along.

Planning instead of doing

You may have come across the phrase “analysis paralysis”. It describes what happens when someone gets so caught up in planning a goal that they never start working on it. The sad truth is that endless analysis smothers motivation and keeps people from ever reaching the goals they spent so long preparing for.

Aiming at the impossible

One of the most important parts of keeping yourself motivated is setting goals you can realistically reach, and many people skip this step. A goal that is clear and simply stated shows you a more direct route to success, and it helps your motivation last over the long haul rather than burning out early.

Notes taken well during class do two jobs. They help you hold on to what the teacher explained, and they become a handy guide to the lesson when you sit down to revise. As you write, make a point of marking out the most important ideas so they stand out later. Beyond that, three habits make a real difference.

Listen first

Taking notes is only useful if you have actually heard what the speaker said. Give the lesson your full attention, and keep your desk clear of anything that might pull your focus away. The fewer objects around you, the fewer distractions you will have to fight.

Capture the main points

You do not need to write down every sentence. Note the key ideas, and under each main heading jot down the supporting factors, even if it is just one word per point. Done this way, your notes will give you a clear outline of everything the teacher covered, at a glance.

Put them in order

Before you walk out of the classroom, file your notes in the folder for that subject and arrange the pages in sequence. Check that everything is in the right order and easy to locate, so that when exam time comes you can find exactly what you need without a frantic search.

Some people are fortunate enough to have a friend who speaks up for them when they are not there to speak for themselves. Such a friend often understands you better than you understand yourself. If you have one, here are some of the things worth thanking them for.

Their loyalty

Thank them for making it plain to everyone that your friendship is genuine and not a performance for social media. Thank them for never letting strangers, or people who hardly know you, come between the two of you, or even get the chance to try.

Being your voice

Thank them for saying the things you would have said, and for saying them better than you would have. Thank them for speaking out when keeping quiet would have been easier. Thank them for not letting the fact that you were absent change the way they think of you.

Their care

Thank them for being gentle with you when others are harsh. Thank them for promising that they will stand by you no matter who tries to pull you down. Thank them for showing the world that they will never betray you behind your back, and that they will not let anyone treat you with disrespect. Thank them, too, for seeing the good in you on the days when you cannot see it yourself.

Simply being there

Finally, thank them for choosing to remain in your life, and for never being casual or indifferent when it comes to you or to the friendship you share. A friend like that is worth holding on to, and worth becoming in return.

Any business that succeeds asks a great deal of the people who run it, and the road is often hard and stressful. When the business belongs to a family, there is a fresh layer of challenges and personal dynamics on top. Yet with a little readjustment, plenty of patience and some flexibility, a husband and wife can launch and run a thriving business together. Here is how a couple can learn to work as an efficient team.

Know who is good at what

Be completely open about each person’s strengths and weak spots, and decide together how you will share the work around them. In the early days it is tempting for both of you to take on every job going. If there are tasks neither of you can manage, find help for those areas in whatever way you can. Exhaustion in the start-up phase is the last thing either of you needs.

Share the same picture of the future

Before you launch and commit, make sure you agree on the vision and the overall direction of the business. Write down what a successful business will give both of you over the long run. If you ever find yourselves seeing things differently, talk about it straight away so the business stays on course towards the goal.

Guard your life outside work

Make a balance between work and home a priority, so that each day you both arrive at work in step with each other. Your team will draw energy from that harmony, and it will help keep morale high and the company culture strong.

Mark every win

Celebrate each goal you reach and each success as it comes. Doing so reminds you both how well you are doing as business partners.

Keep it light

Try treating your working relationship the way you would treat a friendship with your best friend. That sets a friendly tone for the workplace, and keeping things cheerful and full of humour protects the health of your partnership.

Social capital is the web of relationships that links people, groups and organisations. The term turns up in several fields, including economics, sociology and anthropology, and each uses it a little differently. At heart, though, the idea is always the same: people form ties with one another, and those ties can then be put to many different uses. Looking closely at those ties is one way of understanding how a society actually works.

The many shapes it takes

Social capital comes in many forms. Neighbours living on the same street, people employed by the same company and circles of friends all have their own networks of relationships. Beyond the personal and emotional satisfaction these bonds bring, they also offer practical benefits. People inside a network tend to lean on each other when they need a service, and someone who has no direct link to a particular service can often reach one through the people they know.

How we use it every day

Most of us draw on social capital daily without giving it a name. If your tooth aches and you ask a friend to suggest a good dentist, you are using it. If you are hunting for a job and ask an acquaintance to recommend you, you are using your network of connections to reach a goal.

The economic side

Economists also use the term for the links between people and organisations that carry economic value. A network of people who trust and help one another is a strong asset. When individuals and businesses are connected in this way, each one comes to mind when the other has a job to be done. Alongside money and other economic capital, social capital is an important engine of economic growth.

Whatever field you work in, you need to be able to talk well with the people above you, beside you and below you. That means passing on your message clearly and taking in what others say, whether you are face to face, on a call, writing an email or posting on social media. Three skills are worth mastering.

What your body says

Much of what you communicate never comes out as words. Your posture, where your eyes go, the way your hands move and the tone of your voice all shade the message you are trying to get across. Stand or sit in a loose, open way, with your arms uncrossed and your legs at ease, and speak in a warm voice. People will find you easier to approach and will feel freer to speak their minds with you.

Warmth

A kind tone, a question about someone’s day or simply a smile invites colleagues to talk to you openly and honestly. Courtesy should run through every kind of exchange at work, from a quick chat in the corridor to a formal email. Being pleasant and polite costs nothing and keeps doors open.

Assurance

Bring confidence to every conversation. When you speak with conviction, your coworkers can tell that you believe in what you are saying and that you intend to see it through. That trust makes it far more likely that they will listen, agree and act.

Ask people why they put tasks off and the answers are usually familiar. They feel lazy, the work bores them, or something more entertaining is calling. Those reasons are real enough. But there is another explanation that rarely gets a hearing: your delay may be your intuition at work, steering you away from something it senses as a threat.

Fear of failing after trying

Picture yourself putting your whole heart into a project and still falling short. For many of us that picture is painful enough to make us anxious, so we avoid the effort altogether and delay instead. The delay then becomes a handy excuse. If the project goes badly, we can tell ourselves it was never a fair measure of what we can do. Had there only been more time, the result would have been different.

Fear of being judged

Procrastination can also act as a warning light worth paying attention to. Part of you may suspect that if you try something bold, something beyond what is expected of you, people will start picking at you or at your work. That dread of criticism and rejection is closely tied to anxiety, and your intuition responds by encouraging you to hold back and wait.

Fear of doing well

Strange as it sounds, some people are afraid of succeeding. Success brings raised expectations and heavier responsibilities, and putting things off keeps those at a safe distance. In this way the person who fears success is not so different from the person who fears failure. Both avoid challenges and keep postponing, and both are spared the uncomfortable moment of discovering where their real limits lie.

The next time a task keeps slipping, it may help to ask which of these fears is quietly doing the steering. Naming it is often the first step to moving again.