Once there was a shopkeeper who charged a fortune for apples that had gone bad. When the people of his neighbourhood found out, they did not complain. Instead, they praised him, and asked him to sell the rotten potatoes and tomatoes growing on their own farms as well.

Everyone gets a share

Word soon reached the police. Their chief visited the shop and questioned the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper gave him a gift of cherries and promised to sell the rotten onions lying in the officers’ own kitchens. Everyone went home smiling.

When the government officials heard about it, they were furious. They told the shopkeeper to take on staff of their choosing, or face the consequences. He agreed.

Over the years, the little shop grew into a vast shopping mall, staffed by people recommended by the officials, by the police and by the neighbourhood. Everyone was content trading rotten fruit and vegetables.

Then someone falls ill

One day, a girl bought some rotten garlic. She used it in a meal for her guests. It was so rotten that every one of them fell sick. At the hospital, the doctors found rotten vegetables to blame.

As the news spread, the officials blamed the girl and decided to punish her. The police backed them, and called a large press conference to announce that they had caught the real culprit behind the rotten produce in the market. The neighbours threw stones at her house to show how angry they were about rotten fruit. She was punished, and the whole town hailed it as good triumphing over evil.

The story behind the story

The parable was written about a real scandal, in which a student who had topped an exam was exposed as a fraud and arrested, along with others like her. Meanwhile, the system that had sold such results for years, with the help of people in positions of trust, was hardly discussed at all. And many families stood ready to keep paying that system in the years ahead.

It is worth asking, whenever a single person is held up as the villain: who built the shop, who stocked it, and who kept buying? Whose fault is it, really?

There are few better ways to escape the worries of everyday life than to climb up into the welcoming arms of a tree house. Nestled among the branches, screened by a wall of green, we feel as sheltered as a fledgling.

Above the everyday

At that height, breathing comes easier and thoughts run clearer, as the leaves around us refresh the air. We float above the busy world on the ground and enjoy a bird’s eye view of everything going on below.

We can climb up by ourselves, or bring along someone dear. Either way, it is our private world, where we decide who comes and who goes. It is a refuge where we can be completely ourselves, put down the masks the world below expects us to wear, and let out our most hidden secrets, dreams and wishes. It is also a perfect place from which to watch the life that carries on beneath the branches.

A new view

Often, a fresh view of a situation is exactly what we need to answer a hard question, solve a stubborn problem, or notice something we have been missing. Up high, it feels as if we can reach a wider kind of awareness. We can draw on that lightness to renew ourselves, to relax and to let new ideas arrive. When we climb back down, we return to the world clearer, calmer and often more inspired.

Your own piece of sky

If it has been a long time since you sat in a tree house, perhaps now is the time to build one, or to find one you can borrow. If a real tree house is out of reach, think of other places that could give you the same feeling: a rooftop corner, a quiet grove of trees on a hill, a sunny attic.

Or simply close your eyes, and picture yourself settled into your perfect home in the branches of your favourite tree. Even that small climb can lift you.

The signs of a rut are easy to spot: the ideas dry up and the spark goes missing. You spend more and more time on your work, yet nothing useful seems to get done. Whether you are a working professional, a writer, a student or anyone else, these simple moves can help you break out of the same old routine.

Start with the small tasks

When you are stuck, begin small. Clear away the minor tasks that have been piling up. Answer your emails, sort out your documents, tidy your workspace and reply to personal messages. Each small thing finished gives you a little momentum, and momentum is what a rut takes away.

Step away from your desk

Get away from where you work. Walk around the building, go outside, fetch a snack. Your mind is weighed down and needs some fresh air. A short change of scene often clears what hours of staring could not.

Talk to a friend

Talk to someone and take your mind off work for a while. It can be about anything, from light chatter to a deep conversation about something you truly care about. You may be surprised at how much a short exchange can refresh you.

Paint a vision to work towards

If you keep falling into the same rut, perhaps there is no vision pulling you forward. Ask what this work is for, and where it is leading. What is the destination you have in mind? Make that picture as vivid as you can, and think about everything it makes possible. Be sure it is a vision that genuinely inspires you, then use it as the spark that moves you to act.

And while you climb out, remember one more thing. Worrying a little every day can cost you years over a lifetime. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. Otherwise, train yourself not to worry. Worry has never fixed anything.

We call someone an underdog when hardly anyone expects them to win. Yet that very lack of expectation puts the underdog in a uniquely powerful and motivating position.

Nothing to lose

With little at stake, the underdog stands to gain much and has plenty to show the world. That is exactly the mindset many people at the top have lost. Have you noticed how much easier it is to play freely, without stiffness, when the competition is fierce and nobody expects you to win?

Some see being the underdog as a weak position. In truth, it is the opposite. Expecting nothing, the underdog can relax, and a relaxed competitor feels less nerves, less pressure and less strain. Hard circumstances are also where all of us learn what top performance really demands.

Free to do it differently

Underdogs naturally set their own measure of success, since nobody imagined them keeping pace in the first place. That gives them a rare chance to shake up the way things have always been done. They are not bound by the rules that favourites feel they must follow.

Keep the mindset

If you hold on to the underdog mentality, you never quite consider yourself on top. There are always new goals to reach and new opportunities to chase, and there is always someone doubting that you can do it.

That is the real gift. As an underdog, the only competitor who truly matters is the one in the mirror. Your biggest competition is yourself.

When you carry a sense of disappointment inside, you tend to look around your life for something to be disappointed in. If your self-esteem is low, that something will usually be you. If you think more highly of yourself, you will find fault with someone else, or with something outside you.

In the end, it comes to the same thing. Whether you blame yourself or another person, blame is still blame, and it has no power to help you.

Feel it, fully

Instead of trying to work out why you feel disappointed or angry, simply allow yourself to feel the feeling, wherever it sits in your body. Let yourself feel it completely, without looking for a way out.

Let go of the story

The heart of this practice is to feel the feeling but drop the story. Telling ourselves stories is a way of escaping pain. It pulls us up into our heads and away from what the body is feeling. The trouble is that once you have a story that explains your feeling, you tend to tell it again and again, keeping the hurt alive.

When you let yourself feel without all the mental chatter, you discover something beautiful underneath every feeling. You also discover how changeable and flexible feelings really are. They move through you when you stop holding them in place.

A deeper responsibility

There is a deep kind of responsibility each of us can take on if we choose. It comes when we realise that what happens in our world is connected to us, and that we influence all of it.

That responsibility lies underneath the very feelings we most want to avoid. It carries a deep feeling of freedom, and a fresh creative energy. It is not easy to find, simply because telling stories is easier than feeling our feelings. But it is always there, waiting.

Repeated hard times are a part of being human that no one escapes. We battle inner struggles and outside pressures, and in many cases we come out the other side stronger and better prepared for what lies ahead.

When effort is not enough

Now and then, though, we meet a difficulty that seems completely hopeless. We throw all our creativity and persistence at it, hoping desperately for a breakthrough, only to arrive at the same result as always. Our first instinct is to push even harder against the wall in front of us, believing that this time, surely, the outcome will be different.

It rarely is. When no amount of effort seems enough, a change in how we see the problem, how we behave, or how we respond can do far more to move us forward.

Patterns repeat themselves

If our habits of thought and action stay the same, our lives will keep unfolding much as they have before. Patterns of fruitless effort can be broken, but it takes honest self-examination and courage. It takes nerve to look back and challenge the decisions that brought us here, and to pour our energy into trying something new instead of repeating the old.

Small adjustments, real discoveries

Ask questions. Make small changes to the way you think and act. Little by little, you will discover what actually works, and you can leave behind what does not.

To break free from patterns you have followed without noticing, which have long steered your actions and reactions, you will probably need to question your assumptions at the most basic level. Make peace with the possibility that your old beliefs about what causes what may simply no longer fit the life you need now.

Give a well balanced kite a steady wind, and it will climb to great heights. But point its nose towards the ground, and that very same wind will send it crashing down.

The wind of criticism

Criticism works in just the same way. Just as the wind can either lift a kite or wreck it, criticism can either push you towards high goals or drain away your drive. The wind does not decide. The angle of the kite does.

Critics are many, achievers few

People who criticise far outnumber people who achieve. Yet no one has ever built a statue in honour of a critic. So do not spend your energy trying to please or soothe your critics. Instead, take whatever is useful in their warnings and use it to keep yourself on course.

Criticism is simply part of human nature. Finding fault is easier than creating something or trying something new. If you set out to accomplish anything worthwhile, critics will offer you an endless list of reasons why you will fail, or why you should not even try.

A sign you are rising

To turn criticism into lift, understand this: criticism places you alongside everyone who has ever achieved something great. When you reach out and stretch yourself, you rise above the horizon, and anything that rises becomes easier to see, and easier to aim at.

So keep the nose of your kite pointed upward. Let the wind push against you. That pressure is exactly what carries you higher.

A thought can be perfectly true and still keep you from living the life you are meant for. So it is worth choosing thoughts that serve your deeper purpose and goals.

The mind is a remarkable instrument, yet we rarely give it a second thought. We assume we have no say over what we think, because thoughts seem to drift in and out all day. But you do have a say, and you gradually become what you think about. That small truth is the hidden power of the mind. It is not really hidden at all. It is open to everyone, including you, and it costs nothing.

Choose a different picture

Habit runs much of our lives. Without noticing, we live out a picture of life handed to us by family, the streets we grew up on and the place we call home, whether it serves us or not.

We do not have to. Each of us has a mind of our own, able to imagine life the way we want it. Each day brings countless decisions, and every one of them is ours to accept or decline. Saying no is sometimes wise, or nothing would ever get done. But the most fulfilled people tend to say yes to life. They stay open to possibilities. They believe they can change their lives, and they will happily attempt something new, even at the risk of falling short.

Put it to work

Begin to picture your life as you would like it to be. Form a picture in your mind and return to it steadily through the day. Believe in it. You do not need to announce it to anyone. Simply hold a quiet confidence that the picture can come true. You will start making choices that fit it, and taking small steps in the right direction.

Get the picture clear

Uncertainty about what we want is frequently the first thing standing between us and our dreams. We cannot aim if we are unsure of the target. Still, it is fine not to know yet what you want to become. Life is a school full of opportunities, and we never truly graduate, because the lessons never end. Focus on one thing as your aim. It does not have to be large. As you begin to reach your goals, your momentum builds, and each next goal comes a little easier.

Decide, then listen

The moment you truly decide to change, the very habit you want to change usually shows up straight away, testing you. Change your thinking and your life will improve. A new attitude begins with a new conversation inside your own head. To do that, you have to catch it as it happens. That means paying attention to yourself, watching your own mind, and listening for the quiet inner voice that will show you the way.

Why do some people achieve so much, while most of us struggle just to keep our heads above water? The answer is complicated and has many parts. One of them is mindset, and in particular the difference between thinking like an amateur and thinking like a professional. Most of us are amateurs. Here is what separates the two.

How they work

• Amateurs stop once they reach something. Professionals know that the first success is only the start.
• Amateurs aim at a target. Professionals build a routine that gets them there.
• Amateurs turn up when the mood strikes. Professionals turn up daily.
• Amateurs race ahead. Professionals last the distance.

How they see themselves

• Amateurs believe they are good at everything. Professionals know where their real skills begin and end.
• Amateurs hear feedback and coaching as an attack on who they are. Professionals know their weak spots and actively look for thoughtful criticism.
• Amateurs spend their energy patching their weaknesses. Professionals build on their strengths and surround themselves with people who cover their gaps.
• Amateurs guard knowledge as power. Professionals pass on what they have learned.

How they think and decide

• Amateurs want to be right. Professionals want the best result.
• Amateurs stop at the obvious first step of thinking. Professionals ask what happens next, and after that.
• Amateurs run with whatever idea arrives first. Professionals know the opening idea is seldom the strongest.
• Amateurs hold views that nothing could ever prove wrong. Professionals do not.
• Amateurs see things as all or nothing. Professionals weigh the odds.

How they handle results

• Amateurs decide in groups, so that no one person is to blame if things go wrong. Professionals decide as individuals and own the decision.
• Amateurs blame others. Professionals accept responsibility.

Nobody switches over in a day. But each line above is a small habit you can choose, and every one you adopt moves you a step from amateur towards professional.

A psychologist was walking around a room, teaching an audience how to manage stress. When she lifted a glass of water, everyone assumed they knew what was coming: the old question of whether the glass was half empty or half full.

Instead, smiling, she held it up and asked how much it weighed.

People called out guesses, anywhere from 100 to 250 millilitres.

The answer no one expected

“The actual weight does not matter,” she said. “What matters is how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, there is no problem. If I hold it for an hour, my arm will ache. If I hold it for a whole day, my arm will go numb and I will not be able to move it. Whichever it is, the glass weighs no more than it did. But the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels.”

Our worries work the same way

Our stresses and worries behave just like that glass. Dwell on them briefly, and nothing much happens. Think about them a little longer, and they begin to hurt. Think about them all day, and you feel paralysed, unable to do anything at all.

The problem is rarely the worry itself. It is how long we keep holding it.

Set it down

So it matters to let your stresses go. Lay your burdens aside as early in the evening as you can manage. Do not carry them through the evening and into the night, where they will rob you of rest and greet you again in the morning, heavier than before.

Whatever you are holding today, remember to put the glass down.