The Quiet Social Skills That Open Doors

Social skills are the ways we communicate and interact with one another, in words and without them. Used badly, they can become social “kills”. Knowing how to get along with people, how to build strong friendships and how to work well in a group are among the most important skills anyone can have, and they help in every part of life.

Technology keeps widening our reach to people all over the world, yet it is also weakening our ability to connect properly with the person in front of us. Learning a few social skills can make you more successful, and more likeable, wherever you are. Here are some worth building.

Celebrate other people’s wins

When someone shares good news, resist the urge to brush it aside, trump it with an achievement of your own, or pick holes in it. Celebrate their success instead, and be genuinely happy and excited for them.

Speak well of people who are not in the room

You can judge a person’s character by the way they talk about others behind their backs. If you know someone who is always running people down when they are absent, you can be sure they talk about you the same way when you are not there. Be the one who speaks well of others in their absence.

Notice the little things

Life is hard, and many people are quietly struggling, with hardly anyone at home or among their friends to lean on. The difficulty is that they are often so good at hiding it that everything seems fine and they appear to need nothing. Remember that the people you work with have whole lives outside work, and small signs of care can matter more than you know.

Quiet counts too

The loud, outgoing way of connecting that society tends to reward is not the only way, or necessarily the best. A quieter style of relating can be just as healthy. Real social skill is the ability to adapt how you behave to suit the situation, and your own needs and wishes.

What good social skills give you

• Connecting easily with individuals leads to more relationships, and sometimes to friendships. A smile and a simple hello can be the start of one.
• Relating to people and working in large groups naturally sharpens your communication.
• If you handle people well, you also find it easier to keep a polite distance from those you do not click with.
• Getting on with others opens many personal and professional doors.