Healing After A Breakup

Some breakups cannot be avoided, and sometimes staying in a relationship drains you more than leaving it. Either way, life has to go on, and it helps if it goes on well. Here are some ways to heal emotionally after a breakup.

Why it hurts so much

When love is taken away, it affects you deeply. Once the emotional bond is cut, the pain is real. It comes from having trusted your partner with your heart and then having that trust broken. It can feel unbearable, and you may wonder whether you will ever recover and whether the ache will ever fade. Healing is possible, as long as you allow the process to happen. Once you have healed, you will recover and can move on with your life.

Let grief move through you

You do not manage grief; grief manages you. It behaves like a sudden storm far out at sea. It arrives without warning, and however hard you try to dodge it or push it down, you cannot. Let the tears, the shouting and the sobbing come out. If you need to cry, cry. Grief needs to be released, the same way the body sometimes simply has to let something out. You have no choice about it, and there is no shame in it.

Do not carry it alone

Do not suffer in silence. Kept inside, the pain can grow and spill into almost every part of your life, including your other relationships. Open up to a person you are close to, or one who truly gets you, and describe what is going on inside.

Acknowledge and understand

It is normal and human to go through a whole range of feelings. Disappointment and hurt follow every breakup. Even so, learn gradually to steer those feelings towards something more productive.

Make new friends

Some people feel awkward reaching out to their usual circle straight after a breakup. New acquaintances can ease that. When you would rather avoid being quizzed about what happened, or face the subject with people who know you well, spend time with new acquaintances until you have healed. Meanwhile, do not neglect or embarrass the people who have stood by you all along.