The Trouble With Always Being Right

No one has all the answers, and no one can be right every time. Still, most of us know someone who acts as if they are the only person who knows best. They are usually the hardest people to deal with.

Studies of human behaviour suggest that the need to always be right can come from several places. It may be driven by self interest, or by a simple fear of being shown to be wrong. Either way, trying to win every point is often a pointless struggle. Here are three traits common in people who believe they are never wrong, and why the belief tends to backfire.

They keep interrupting

Research into emotional intelligence suggests that some people lack the awareness needed to rein in their urge to control a conversation, which leaves them prone to cutting others off. It makes them look like know it alls, and it is also seen as poor manners to break in and show off knowledge nobody asked for. It makes a person seem less approachable and less considerate.

If you believe you are always right, you are also likely to be a poor listener. You are so eager to make your point that you stop hearing others, hurry them through their explanations, or brush their words aside. All of this points to weak listening skills.

They will not empathise

Beyond interrupting, people who think they are always right tend to ignore other social courtesies, and often end up getting things wrong. They shut others out of the conversation and refuse to accept how others feel. People with strong emotional intelligence adjust their behaviour to those around them rather than insisting on getting their way. By that measure, a friend who is always opinionated shows little emotional intelligence, because they cannot see or respect your point of view.

They are always on the defensive

Someone who must always be right is frequently defensive, and dealing with them can put you on the defensive too. Having to keep justifying your views and choices against steady opposition is tiring. The temptation is to let it turn into a full argument, but the wiser course is to manage your own reactions and decline a fight that will settle nothing. In doing so, you set an example the other person may one day follow.

Turn the mirror around

When someone keeps insisting they are right and you are wrong, pause for a moment. There may be some truth in what they are saying. It is worth asking honestly whether you might be the one who needs to change.