Six Keys To Healthy Self-Love

Healthy self-love is the balance point between low self-esteem, which is a shortage of self-love, and grandiosity, which is an inflated, false self-love that covers up for the lack of the real thing. Changing your mind, body and inner life starts with growing genuine self-love. Here are six keys.

First key: Become aware of yourself

What do you keep telling yourself? Do you listen to your thoughts, sift them and question them?

Second key: Look after your body

Your body serves you and represents you. Treat it with the care you would give something precious. If you do not, you are unlikely to build self-love. Harming your body works directly against it and defeats the purpose. Your body does not just serve you, it also shows the world who you are. Treat it with respect.

Third key: Refine your inner life

When you connect with your deeper self, something shifts inside. It does not matter what you believe, or whether you believe in anything at all. What matters is that you have some daily practice that refines you within. If you do not already have one, such as quiet reflection or meditation, explore what is out there or create your own. You can begin at any age. For some it is playing or listening to music that lifts the spirit. For others it is a mix of things. Make time to build your relationship with yourself by doing something that uplifts you.

Fourth key: Make time for yourself

Every day you need some time alone to feel centred. Far from being selfish, it is vital to your wellbeing. Use it to develop your thinking and sharpen your sensitivity, perhaps on a quiet walk in nature or in some still time alone. It is the best investment you can make in yourself.

Fifth key: Find your purpose

What is your life for? Are you simply waiting for the weekend, or for the next television show? Or is there something deeper and bolder, a goal bigger than yourself that shapes the person you hope to become and what you want to say to the world? Write a personal mission statement that fits your values. It is the next step in growing as a person and in finding happiness, because it tells the world who you are.

Sixth key: Treat every day as practice

In the end, a lifetime is the total of what you did, what you lived through and where your hours went. What would you like people to remember about you? Each day is a chance to practise being that person. How you use it is a question only you can answer.

Why it is worth it

• You deserve to be loved without conditions, whatever you have done.
• Self-love brings a natural confidence and warmth that draw people to you and help you succeed.
• It enriches not only your own world but other people’s too, and lets you influence them in a meaningful, positive way.
• You come to rely on your own judgement instead of searching elsewhere for answers, approval or rescue. That is real freedom.