Tag: Young Adults

There was once a very wise man. One day someone asked him what the most important thing in his life was. After some thought he replied, “Everything matters, and nothing matters.”

Pressed for an answer, he finally said that money was the most important thing to him. Even as he said it, he was not sure he believed it, but he kept his doubts to himself. Before long, something happened that showed him he had been wrong.

A rich man without peace

A wealthy man came to him one day. “I have plenty of money,” he said, “but I have no peace of mind.” The wise man was not sure how to help, so he took the visitor to his own teacher, who could explain it far better.

The teacher listened, laughed gently and said he would show them rather than tell them.

The apples

Next to the teacher stood a bowl of apples, and a small child was playing nearby. The teacher called the child over and handed him an apple. The boy grabbed it with his right hand and began to munch. A second apple followed, and he clutched that one in his left. Now both hands were full.

Then the teacher offered a third apple. Still clutching the other two, the child tried to hold the new one between his palms, pressing it against his chest. He struggled to balance all three, but he could not. Every apple tumbled to the floor, and the child burst into tears.

The lesson

The teacher turned to the rich man. “We should not grab everything and keep it all for ourselves,” he said. “When we share what we have, it brings us extra joy and satisfaction, because we know we have helped someone. When we hold on to everything, all we gain is fear and worry about losing it.”

The message is a simple one. Learn to share. Let kindness, not money, be what keeps life moving, and you will find you enjoy it far more.

When we run into a problem or a difficult situation, most of us meet it with worry and a stream of negative thoughts. From the outside, it may look as if we are dealing with it. Inside, we are not really coping at all, and more often than not we find ourselves getting nowhere.

Settle first, solve second

The best way to handle any hard situation is to begin by calming the mind. A mind that is racing and anxious goes round in circles. Only a calm mind can see clearly enough to find a way through.

Before you start making lists, phoning people or lying awake planning, give yourself a few quiet minutes. Breathe slowly. Step outside, or sit still. Let the first rush of panic pass.

The answer is often already there

It helps to remember that every problem has some kind of answer, even if we cannot see it yet. When the mind is relaxed, we can trust our own inner sense, our intuition, to bring that answer to the surface. Very often, it was there all along, waiting for the noise to die down.

So the next time trouble arrives, resist the urge to wrestle with it straight away. Calm yourself first. The solution has a far better chance of finding you.

Not all good advice comes dressed in serious clothes. Some of the wisest tips sound almost playful at first. Here are ten worth keeping.

1. Fly kites as often as you can

While your kite is up in the air, it keeps your feet firmly on the ground. A little play is one of the best ways to stay grounded.

2. Go easy on the bad news

Headlines can sometimes read like the scariest horror stories. Stay informed, but do not let them fill your head with fear.

3. Avoid doing what you truly do not want to do

Whenever you can, steer clear of it. If you force yourself, resentment follows, the work suffers, others will be unhappy with the result, and you may carry the regret for a long time.

4. Freedom is available right now

You do not have to wait for some future day to feel free. You can choose it this very second.

5. Diversify everything

Spread your bets in every area of life, including the people you go to for advice.

6. Ignore the people who say “You cannot do that”

It is a cliché, but a true one. Those people are usually describing their own limits, not yours.

7. Life is short, but there is no rush

Nobody leaps from a plane without first strapping on a parachute. Take the time to prepare.

8. Prepare, and you will be lucky

Preparation is the secret to good luck, and plenty of it. People may never understand where your luck comes from, but they will be amazed by it.

9. Kindness is real power

Being kind to others is one of the most powerful forces you will ever have.

10. Treat each day as an adventure

Every day, you can squeeze a little art out of ordinary hours. Art brings delight, and delight grows a little more each day.

Whenever you want to tap into the calm and clarity of the present moment, here are ten simple things to remember.

1. Mind your own garden

Look after your own patch of ground instead of fretting over the weeds in your neighbour’s. Pay attention to what is growing in your own soil.

2. Come back to your breath

Pay attention to each breath and rest there for a little while. It is one of the easiest ways to return to the present.

3. You are not your thoughts

Notice the moment a thought grabs hold of you and you start believing you are that thought. You are not. It is only a thought, passing through.

4. Remember you are part of something larger

Einstein described a human being as part of the whole that we call the universe. Watch out today for any false thought that makes you feel cut off from another person or from the world around you.

5. Accept yourself

Accept every part of yourself. Yes, every part.

6. Find the space between thoughts

Mindfulness does not wrestle with thoughts. Constant thinking can make us feel divided, as if pulled in two directions. Slow down and listen for the quiet gaps between one thought and the next.

7. Notice when you drift into the future

Catch yourself when your mind races ahead into some worrying tomorrow, and gently bring it back. The future has not arrived yet, and the past is already gone. Now is where life is happening.

8. Walk with attention

Spend five minutes walking slowly and paying attention only to what you are experiencing. Let whatever you notice, a tree or a paving stone, hold your attention for a moment.

9. Face pain with courage

When something hurts today, in whatever way, do not ignore it or try to bury it. Be brave, breathe into it, and ask what it might be trying to tell you.

10. Watch, then release

Try not to let passing feelings decide how you act. Watch them rise, whatever they are, and then let them drift away like old echoes from the past.

Sometimes life throws us curve balls so painful that we wonder how we will ever get through. When that happens, finding the bright side can seem impossible, especially on days when just getting out of bed is hard. And yet, many of life’s worst moments end up working out for the best. The task is to look for the silver lining and keep facing forward.

It has been wisely said that we suffer most when we argue with what has already happened. Much of the stress we feel comes from resisting reality. If the past is ruling your present, it may help to know that some situations in life turn out to be blessings in disguise. The old saying that when one door closes another one opens is something we can all find comfort in. Here are a few seemingly bad situations that can turn out to be good for you.

Losing a job

Losing your job can feel like everything has collapsed. Yet many people say it was the best thing that ever happened to them, because it finally pushed them to follow a dream they had put off for years. It is hard, of course. But you may well find something bigger and better, and at last have the chance to chase what you really want.

A break-up

A break-up can hurt deeply, and for a while it can feel as if your whole world is falling apart. But perhaps that person was not the right one for you, or perhaps the timing simply was not right. Rather than sinking into self-pity, look for ways you can grow from the experience, and for the good that may come out of it.

A promotion that did not come

You did not get the promotion you wanted so badly and felt you had earned. You worked hard and stayed late, yet your efforts were not recognised. That is painful. But it may also be a sign that it is time to look for a place where your work will be valued.

Getting past hard times faster

• Make accepting what has happened your first priority.
• Focus on the lesson it is teaching you.
• Ask yourself honestly whether the problem is really as big as it seems.
• Make “get stronger” your motto.
• Remember that you can carry on from exactly where you are now.
• Ask how someone you admire would handle the same situation.
• Practise the art of letting go.

Learning from our mistakes is how we avoid repeating them. But mistakes do more than teach us what to avoid. They can improve our relationship with ourselves and with others, and help us do better at work.

For a perfectionist, the idea that there are good reasons to make mistakes can come as a shock. How can doing something wrong possibly help? Yet mistakes are essential to learning and growing as a person. Once you accept them, it becomes much easier to see why we need them. It is not easy, but it is well worth it.

They keep us humble

Every one of us would love to skip the embarrassment of getting things wrong. But if we never slipped, perfection could easily go to our heads. Mistakes teach humility. Confidence is good; arrogance pushes people away. One of the best things mistakes do is make us more realistic and down to earth.

They spark creativity

If everything worked perfectly the first time, we would never try another way. Many of the best inventions came from someone getting something wrong and then discovering a better way to do it. When you make a mistake, use it as a chance to try a fresh, creative approach instead of giving up.

They uncover hidden talents

Plenty of people have found new hobbies simply by getting something wrong. Imagine someone who joins a dance fitness class and is hopeless at it. After watching her struggle, the instructor suggests she try a hula hoop class instead, and it turns out she is brilliant at it. Pay attention to your mistakes. They may point you to a gift you never knew you had.

They help us grow

Mistakes push us to try new things, to stop doing what clearly is not working, and to become better people overall. You may not enjoy making them, but you will enjoy what they lead to. In the end, they help you discover who you are and who you want to become. Every mistake is a chance to grow.

They teach patience and persistence

When something goes wrong, the result you wanted takes longer to arrive, and you need the will to keep going. Few teachers are better at building these two qualities. So do not lose patience and give up. Try again, and you may be surprised by what happens.

Learn to laugh about them

A slip made in private hardly bothers us. Make one in front of others and we feel embarrassed. But if you can laugh at your own mistakes, others will laugh with you, not at you. Mistakes then stop feeling so awkward and can even bring people closer. Being able to laugh at yourself also does wonders for your confidence and self-respect.

Now and then, most of us feel a pull to go back in time. Not to change anything, but simply to feel certain moments one more time.

Moments worth living twice

Sometimes I wish I could be a baby again for a little while. Not to be pushed around in a pram, but to see my mother smile at me once more.

Sometimes I wish I could sit in a classroom again. Not to be a child again, but to finally learn how to be cool.

Sometimes I wish I were back in college. Not to rebel, but to truly understand what I was studying.

Sometimes I wish I were new at work again. Not to do less, but to relive the thrill of that very first salary.

Sometimes I wish I could get married all over again. Not to choose someone else, but to take in the ceremony properly this time.

Sometimes I wish my children were small again. Not because they grew up too fast, but so I could play with them a little more.

And sometimes I wish I had a little more time to live. Not for a longer life, but to discover everything I still have to give.

Those days will never come back. So let us enjoy each moment fully, as we live it, from now on.

What a unit of time is worth

If you want to understand how precious time is, ask the people who know.

• One year: ask a student made to repeat a whole year after one failed exam.
• One month: ask a mother whose baby arrived too early.
• One week: ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
• One hour: ask two people in love who are waiting to meet.
• One minute: ask someone who has just missed a train, bus or flight.
• One second: ask someone who has just escaped an accident.
• One thousandth of a second: ask the athlete who came second by that margin.

Time waits for nobody. Value every moment you are given, and you will value it even more when you share it with the people you love.

Moving up the career ladder is not easy. Young professionals do best when they treat a promotion as a chance to take on more responsibility, not just a bigger title. Many things can hold a young person back from a promotion, but the main hurdles are easy enough to clear once you see them.

1. Being too critical

We live in a time when social media gives everyone a platform to say exactly what they think. That makes it very easy to point out what is wrong instead of rolling up our sleeves and fixing it. Try to see each problem or challenge as a chance to make progress and leave a good impression. Young professionals stand out when they step up and act, not when they simply share opinions.

2. Being too comfortable with the way things are

Some see work as an extension of their social life, and judge it by how much fun they are having. They settle into doing only what they are asked. If you want to move up, start offering to take on extra work, stay a little later when it matters, or help out even after your own tasks are done.

3. Ignoring office politics

Perhaps through inexperience or simple youthful energy, many young people are not cut out for workplace politics. But there is a good chance your manager already has someone in mind before any formal selection begins. It pays to understand how decisions are really made, and to build a good working relationship with your boss.

4. Overdoing it

Some try to earn a promotion by doing ten times more work than anyone else, then feel frustrated when they are not moved into a strategic or managerial role. Volume alone is not the answer. Overachieving can even backfire at work. A better approach is to focus on improving how the whole team or company performs, and on making the workplace more productive.

5. Not dressing the part

Surveys of senior managers suggest that poor grooming and style can affect someone’s chances of promotion. Many young people today think a hoodie is perfectly fine for the office. It is worth sharpening your appearance and dressing for the position you want to hold.

A few more mistakes to avoid

• Complaining about your work
• Making promises you cannot keep
• Acting as if you are in charge when you are not
• Repeating the same mistakes instead of learning from them
• Letting your attention drift away from your job
• Juggling too many tasks at once
• Letting good opportunities pass you by

Someone once put it perfectly: time is more precious than money, because you can always earn more money, but you can never earn more time. With that in mind, here are some small, everyday habits worth dropping if you want to get more out of your days.

Little drains on the day

Stretching one coffee across hours. A break is good. A break that swallows the morning is not.

Flicking through channels. Switching from one channel to the next without ever actually watching anything is time spent on nothing at all.

Checking your phone every few minutes. Did it actually ring or buzz? If not, put it down and step away slowly.

Getting dressed up for a workout. Making yourself look perfect before the gym or a game makes little sense. It will all be undone within minutes.

Talking instead of doing

Explaining yourself to the wrong people. Justifying why you skipped a party to people whose opinion does not really matter is wasted breath.

Endless complaints about work. Moaning about your job and your deadlines, and threatening to quit, gets you nowhere. If you were truly going to quit, you would have done it by now.

Grumbling that life is dull. Everyone’s life is ordinary at times. The difference is that some people are willing to change it. Get up and move instead of complaining.

Cursing the traffic while holding everyone up. It is easy to blame the roads while taking your time and keeping ten people waiting behind you.

Dreaming instead of acting

Browsing travel pages without booking. Looking at photos of dream destinations is fun, but the trip only happens when you book it.

Waiting for things to happen. Things rarely happen by themselves. You have to make them happen.

Daydreaming about luxuries. Picturing yourself in an expensive car will not put you in one. A plan might.

Living in someone else’s story

Rehearsing conversations with an ex. Planning what you would say if they came back keeps you stuck in the past.

Keeping tabs on an ex online. Checking on their new life only reopens old wounds.

Admiring someone from a distance forever. If you like someone, either make a move or let it go. Endless hesitation helps no one.

None of these habits look harmful on their own. Added together, though, they can quietly eat up hours every week. Win those hours back and spend them on what truly matters to you.

Some colleagues can be extremely irritating, even when they do not mean to be. Do you work with someone who makes a habit of picking apart every idea you put forward, while constantly pushing their own? It wears you down quickly.

However annoying someone is, you cannot simply stop speaking to them at work. That does not mean you have to sit there quietly while they dismiss your ideas and offer poorly thought-out ones in their place. There is a better way to handle it, and it starts with one simple phrase.

The phrase

The next time they criticise your idea, or pitch a weak one of their own, say something like: “That sounds quite interesting. Could you write it up in an email for me?”

Why it works

Asking them to put their idea in writing has several benefits.

It makes them think it through. To write it down, they have to explain the idea properly. That gives you a much clearer picture of what they actually mean, and often shows them the gaps in it too.

It takes the heat out. The conversation moves to a calmer, more objective place, away from a clash of personalities.

It gives you time. Instead of reacting on the spot, you get the space to read what they have written and decide calmly how to respond.

How it makes you look

Rather than sparking workplace drama, you show that you are happy to hear people out. If it happens in a meeting, it also shows that you respect everyone else’s time by not letting one debate take over.

The result is less frustration for you, and more careful, constructive thinking from them. Both of you come out ahead.