Tag: Young Adults

We tend to believe that the material world is what makes us happy. So we keep chasing money, high paying jobs, a bigger house and more things. But happiness is mostly a matter of choice, and there are simple ways to choose it.

Be joyful

To be the master of your mind, keep the negative out and let the positive in. Train your thinking so that it takes note of every happy thought and leaves no room for the gloomy ones. This does not mean pretending that problems do not exist. It means deciding which thoughts get to stay and settle.

Let love guide your way

Love does not have to be kept only for your family or your partner. You can share it with anyone, by helping strangers in trouble and being kind to them. You will overflow with good feeling when you go out of your way to help someone.

Turn inward

The quickest route to feeling happy for no particular reason is to connect with your inner self and find peace from within. Stepping back a little from outside things while staying aware of yourself works wonders.

Put together, the message is a gentle one. Happiness is not a prize at the end of a long chase. It is a habit of the mind, a kindness passed to others and a quiet place within that you can return to at any time.

Everyone has ambitions and dreams. By their very nature they are hard to reach, and some can even look impossible. Yet it is possible to turn them into reality.

Start at the beginning

One way to reach your dreams is to start right at the start. There is a lot of work between here and the finish, and dreams do not come true just like that. So be patient and determined from day one. See your dream as a series of steps to take one at a time, until the whole picture finally comes together.

Believe in yourself

You need faith in yourself and plenty of self confidence. Opportunities do not just drop into your lap. Successful people have made their own openings and always believed they could succeed. If you expect your dreams to come true as if by magic, they will stay dreams. You have to believe you can do it. And unlike dreams, goals are things we actively aim at.

Take a leap of faith, with your feet on the ground

Somewhere along the way you may have to take a leap of faith. One key to reaching your dreams is to keep them rooted in reality. That sounds like a contradiction, but being realistic raises your chances of success. There is little point dreaming of being a model if you are short, or of running a shop if you do not enjoy dealing with customers face to face.

Be determined

You must be very determined to reach your dreams. You will get nowhere by waiting for them to happen. Stay single minded and focused, even when the going is tough and the people around you offer no encouragement.

Work towards your goals

Dreams are not achieved in an instant, so they will probably take several stages. That works in your favour, because you can focus on one stage at a time and see yourself moving closer. It will certainly be hard work, so be ready for the effort it will take. Do not let anyone flatten your goals. Keep your focus and your resolve fixed on what you are after. Effort, in the end, is always repaid.

Nothing comes easy

Nothing worthwhile is ever easy, and it is easy to lose heart at how long the road feels. When you seem nowhere near your dream, remind yourself that it will take time and effort, and that you will feel a real sense of achievement when you do succeed.

Call it laziness, sloth, idleness or anything you like. Doing nothing when things need doing is usually seen as weakness or dodging. Living that way is unhealthy, and learning to do things we do not want to do is a key part of succeeding.

Sometimes laziness shows up because you would rather not face something, like a dull chore or a difficult conversation. At other times you feel overwhelmed and believe the job needs a whole team rather than just you.

Kept in check, a bit of laziness is not a bad thing at all. Left to grow, though, it takes a toll on who you are, on your output and on your life in general. That is why you need to spot when it is creeping in.

Realise it

Noticing is the first step. Look at your daily routine. Are you spending more time in bed than out of it? More time on things that lead nowhere than on things that matter? If the answer is yes, then you are leading a lazy life.

Make up your mind

Every achievement begins in the mind. Once you decide to beat laziness, the battle gets much easier. But that decision demands grit, and the resolve to hold firm once things turn hard. For many lazy people, deciding is a one time event: one day they resolve to be productive, and the next day they slip back into dull routines that mostly involve sleep. So stick by your decision.

Set goals

Goals make the decision much easier to keep. They can be about anything. What counts is not the goal itself but each step that brings you closer to it. When you know clearly what you want from life, taking the steps towards that goal or dream naturally pushes laziness out.

Remove distractions

Once your goals are set, find and remove whatever stands between you and reaching them. A distraction can be anything: your television, a friend who is just as idle, or your own bed. Anything that feeds your laziness, directly or indirectly, has to go.

Visualise

Your imagination strongly shapes your mind, your habits and your actions. Picture yourself doing the task with ease, energy and enthusiasm. Do this before you begin, and again whenever you feel sluggish or your mind whispers that you should give up.

It also helps to repeat a few simple lines to yourself: I can reach my goal. I have the energy and drive to do what I want or need to do. Doing things makes me stronger. Doing things makes things happen.

There is already plenty to celebrate. The flowers are in bloom, the birds are singing, the sun is up. You are breathing, you are alive, you are aware. Celebrate that.

Happiness lives inside us, and we have to get in touch with it to know what being happy really means. No amount of money, possessions or worldly success can bring happiness the way that inner source can.

Where celebration comes from

All of life invites you into a close relationship with it: the trees, the grass, the animals and every person you meet. Celebrating life does not come from the reasoning mind. It springs from the wonder of life itself, from sensing a power that keeps creating something new where nothing was before. It honours the marvels of the earth and the sky, and the joy that rises in your heart when your own child is born. To keep celebrating, try these.

Nurture the people around you

Make sure the people who matter most to you always know they are valued, appreciated and needed. Not only when we carefully pick a birthday card full of good wishes and thanks, but every single day, by telling them how lucky we feel to have them.

Be present in the moment

Life keeps asking you to respond, to engage, to be in a relationship with it. It reaches out and calls you to show up. Fear shuts off your ability to hear that call, and guarding yourself stops you reaching out to others. Yet other people keep reaching out to you all the time, ready to help and guide you.

Treat yourself and others

A treat means different things to different people: an ice cream, a massage, a walk in nature, a new pair of shoes. A job well done feels celebrated when it is rewarded. Simply being alive and trying your best deserves celebrating, and so do special days like a birthday or a big event. You deserve to celebrate yourself. Treats are also nice just because. A gift for no reason makes us feel special, so why not pass that feeling on to someone else?

Surround yourself with happiness

Listening to or playing uplifting music is one of the easiest ways to lift the mood around you. Open your eyes to the small details and savour what you see. Find beauty on a path you had stopped noticing. Enjoy the little things happening around you, because happiness depends less on how much we have than on how much we enjoy it. You do not need some grand act to change the world. You can start one step at a time, transforming the smallest corners of your own life or someone else’s.

Say yes to life

What better way to celebrate life than to live it? Saying yes to invitations lets us move with the flow of life and discover more of what it has to offer. Say yes to the things you have always wanted to do and the places you have always wanted to go. A yes often brings opportunities, wonderful new people and inspiring experiences. When you are unsure whether you should, say yes. Either way you will learn something, and you will create more moments worth celebrating.

Praise is among the most powerful gifts one person can offer another. A compliment brings warm feelings both to the person who receives it and to the one who gives it. Everyone needs to know how to give praise and how to take it. A few pointers make all the difference.

Mean what you say

People can nearly always tell when a compliment is hollow. When you truly mean it, they are far more likely to believe you and to feel good about what you said.

Do not let it look like a set up

This can happen without your noticing, so watch for it, because people will judge you on it. Never praise someone and ask a favour in the same conversation. The praise starts to look like bait, and your good intent is lost.

Be respectful

Make sure your words cannot hurt, even when you mean them kindly. Praise built around someone’s race or their looks is risky ground. And if your compliment needs a “but” or a qualifier attached, it is probably better left unsaid.

Keep the spotlight on them

Do not turn someone else’s compliment into a story about you. Saying “You did such a good job last week, I could never have managed that, I am hopeless at it” makes you sound self absorbed, as if you praised them only to steer the talk back to yourself.

Praise people when they are not in the room

Criticising someone behind their back is common. Praising them behind their back is rare. The reverse would serve us better, because praise passed on through others is seen as more sincere and genuine than praise delivered face to face.

Praise what they can control

Point your compliment at things within the person’s control, such as their character, their efforts and what they have achieved. This helps them feel secure in the feedback, instead of worrying that they might lose the very thing others admire in them.

Hard times show us something we easily forget. Under the outward show each of us puts on, we are made of the same stuff. Every one of us hurts, cries and hopes, and every one of us has to lean on others for support and strength.

It teaches humility

Adversity reminds us that we are only human. We are not in charge of everything, and we cannot manage it all on our own.

It teaches perseverance

In a crisis, the choices shrink to two. You can give up, or you can keep going. There is not much else to decide, because life has been pared down to its most basic question of carrying on or not.

In the middle of such dark days we may have no idea where we are headed or what tomorrow holds. All we know is that if we get through today, we will reach tomorrow, and that is how it goes, one day after another.

It shows us who we really are

Whether we are the ones suffering, the ones helping or the ones looking on, adversity shows each of us that we are not as unbeatable as we believed. We are not always in control. Yet in ways we never expected, we turn out to be stronger than we ever knew.

Three gifts it leaves behind

• Strength is often found in weakness, and when we have lost everything we sometimes discover more than we ever had.
• Life itself becomes dearer. Our own life and the lives of others start to feel far more precious.
• Gratitude takes root. Whether we have much or little, we stop taking anything for granted.

The promise on the far side

Nobody can promise that hard times will pass us by. But if they come, we can trust this: we will climb out of the wreckage of a broken life carrying a strength that was hammered out in fire, and we will not be the same person again.

Some people seem ready for anything. No challenge feels too large for them, they find answers to problems that look impossible, and very little rattles them.

What they have is a can-do attitude: the conviction that whatever comes along and whatever life has in store, they will come through it and succeed. When they face an uncomfortable situation, they act, because they know success is possible, and perhaps even certain, for anyone who keeps trying. Here is how to grow that attitude in yourself.

Build real confidence

People with this outlook have plenty of self belief. Success leans heavily on trusting your own ability and on a firm sense of your own worth, the knowledge that you matter. Strengthen yours by staying open to learning and growing, and by paying close attention both to yourself and to the people around you.

Stop comparing yourself unfavourably

Telling yourself you will never be as good as someone else only drags you down. Instead, ask what you can learn from the person you keep measuring yourself against. What do they do that you could copy, so that you too can reach the kind of success you see in them?

Shape the image you want to project

Decide on the confident presence you wish to have. Choose people to look up to and learn from how they carry themselves.

Present yourself well

Make the most of how you look and carry yourself. Take care over grooming, and dress in a way that is professional yet comfortable. When you feel put together, you tend to act with more assurance.

Quiet the inner critic

Let go of the voice that scolds you every time something does not go to plan. Do not give it your attention. Look calmly at what happened and learn from it instead. That is how you grow and move forward.

Dream big and do not be afraid of taking risks. Things have a way of working out for those who keep going.

A warrior, in the sense that matters for everyday life, is not someone who never faces hardship. It is someone who has made up their mind about how to meet it. These are the principles such people live by.

1. Life is not fair, and they live fully anyway

The world will not always treat you justly, and things will not always go your way. Warriors accept this and still choose to live life to the full.

2. Gratitude

For all they could complain about, and despite the injustices they have faced, they count their blessings every single day. They hold on to the belief that life has been generous to them.

3. Control

They do not fret over whether they will win or lose. Their attention stays on what lies within their power, and they give that their complete effort.

4. Motivation

They turn the negatives in their lives into their strongest fuel. They know that hard times do not last.

5. Commitment

They judge success by how much of themselves they pour into the task in front of them.

6. Negative people

They tune out those who say it cannot be done. They keep reminding themselves why their dreams can come true, and they refuse to let negativity steal their joy or their love for what they are working towards.

7. Mistakes

When they get something wrong, they own it at once and ask for forgiveness. They do not allow ego to stand in their way.

8. Dreaming big and staying unstoppable

They are not afraid to dream on a grand scale, even though it means facing fear, mockery and failure. There is a fire inside them to achieve. For them, the one genuine failure is to stop trying. Each setback and each stumble brings them a step closer to their goal, and nothing can make them quit.

After a bath in the river, an elephant was making its way along the road. As it came near a bridge, it saw a pig heading towards it from the other side, covered from snout to tail in mud. Without a word, the elephant moved to one side, let the grimy pig go by, and then carried on with its journey.

The pig’s boast

Later, the pig bragged to its friends. “Look how mighty I am,” it said. “Even the elephant was scared of me and stepped aside to let me through.”

When the other elephants heard this, they asked their friend why it had given way. Was it fear?

The elephant’s answer

The elephant smiled. “I could easily have crushed that pig under my foot,” it said. “But I was clean, and the pig was filthy. Had I stepped on it, my own foot would have been covered in dirt. I wanted to avoid that, so I simply moved aside.”

The lesson

People who have grown wise keep their distance from negativity. They do not do this because they are afraid. They do it because they want to stay clear of what would soil them, even though they are strong enough to overpower it.

You do not have to respond to every opinion, every remark or every situation that comes your way. Let the drama pass and keep moving forward. Pick your battles with care. Not everything is worth your time and attention, and walking past something is often the strongest choice you can make.

Feeling lonely is not a life sentence. It is possible to soften it, and sometimes to shake it off completely. The key is to stop turning the problem over and over, and to fill your mind with activities that draw your attention elsewhere. Here are three simple ways to begin.

Stay busy and get out

When loneliness settles in, resist the urge to sit and dwell on it. Get up and go somewhere with plenty of people around. It does not matter if you know none of them. Simply being among others can lift your mood more than you expect.

Reach out to someone else who is lonely

You are far from the only one. Many people feel exactly as you do and have no idea how to cope with it. If you seek them out and make an effort to ease their loneliness, you will find in the end that you have eased your own as well. Kindness travels in both directions.

Change the pattern of your thoughts

Notice what you are feeding your mind. If your evenings are filled with films that leave you reaching for tissues, it may be time for a change. Try listening to music that lifts you, reading poems or other writing that inspires you, and watching programmes that leave you feeling lighter. Each of these helps to break the cycle of heavy, negative thinking.

These are only a few of the ways to loosen loneliness’s grip. The common thread is simple: move your body, turn towards others, and choose what fills your mind.