Tag: Young Adults

A boy went to his school principal and told her he would not be coming back to school any more.

“Why not?” she asked.

“I saw one teacher speaking badly about another,” he said. “There is a teacher who cannot read well. The staff are not good. Students look down on each other. So many things are wrong in this school.”

A simple task

“All right,” said the principal. “But before you go, do me one favour. Take a glass filled to the brim with water and walk around the school three times without spilling a single drop. After that, you may leave if you still want to.”

The boy thought this would be easy. He walked around the school three times, exactly as asked, and then reported back to her.

What he did not see

“As you walked around the school,” she asked, “did you see a teacher speaking badly about another teacher?”

“No,” said the boy.

“Did you see any students looking down on others?”

“No.”

“Do you know why?”

“No.”

“Because you were focused on the glass, making sure it did not tip and spill. Life is the same. When our attention is on our priorities, we do not have time to see other people’s mistakes.”

The lesson

Every place has its faults, and every person has their flaws. We can spend our energy cataloguing what others do wrong, or we can put it into carrying our own glass carefully. The second choice leaves us calmer, more productive and far less inclined to walk away. Concentrate on your own priorities, not on other people’s mistakes.

If you are not motivated, you will not learn well. You will not hold on to information, you will not take part, and some students may even become disruptive. A student can lose motivation for many reasons: no interest in the subject, a teacher whose methods do not engage, or distractions from outside. Knowing what encourages you is the first step to fixing that.

Learning that feels relevant

Projects can run for weeks, so you need motivation to stay engaged and to dig deeply into a topic. Having a real say in what you study is one part of that. You may also need teachers to show you why each learning goal matters. Above all, projects need to connect with you, because too often they are built around things you simply do not relate to.

Learning by doing, together

Working well with others is a leadership skill. It can be hard, but it is also very rewarding, because it lets you see a project through the eyes of your classmates. Group work tends to run more smoothly when one member agrees to keep everyone on track, and it gets easier as students come to understand one another’s needs and motivations and begin to work as a team.

Knowing teachers care

The single biggest thing that makes students want to try hard and succeed is knowing that their teachers care about them. You may have disliked mathematics for years until a good teacher showed you what strong maths skills could open up for you later. That can be enough to make you want to learn more and discover potential you never knew you had. High expectations and strong support from teachers go a long way, and students feel motivated because teachers make them feel worth the effort.

Learning from failure

Most students have a story of a big failure on an important project. When a school’s culture encourages learning from mistakes, students can explain clearly what they would do differently next time, and even laugh about it. Thinking about a mistake in order to correct it helps you move forward. One student described presenting a group project while trusting that his teammates had prepared properly, only to discover that one person’s research was wrong. The lesson he took away was simple: check all of your work, always revise, and make sure everything is accurate.

Taking feedback

Students who give and receive critique every day, from classmates and teachers alike, grow comfortable with it through practice. They learn that feedback is not the end of the process. It is part of improving the work, and it pushes you to get better.

Two quick tips

• Match the challenge to your skill. You learn best when a task is neither so easy that it bores you nor so hard that it frustrates you.
• Start with the question, not the answer. Memorising facts is dull; working out the solution to a puzzle is exciting.

Take a moment to let your mind travel back to when you were small, playing outside among the leaves and trees without a care in the world. How much of that child is still with you today?

Our inner child never really leaves us. We simply forget about them as we grow older. It is worth tuning in to what that inner child is telling us, because they can help us a great deal on our inner journey.

Do not be afraid to love

Children do not build walls around themselves. They love freely, openly and honestly, with their whole hearts. As we grow up, we go through break-ups, heartache and betrayal, and we start shutting ourselves off from other people. However many times you have been hurt, keep loving others anyway. Unconditional love means loving people whatever they can give you, and whether or not they return your feelings, and children are the best examples of that selfless love. The next time you feel like closing yourself off, think about what your inner child would do. They would want you to keep love alive and give it another chance.

Keep things simple

Life was simple when you were a child. You let your imagination run free and did not worry about tomorrow or yesterday. Why should that change now that you are an adult? It need not. You can still live a fairly simple life by owning less, getting outdoors as much as you can and doing work you love. Your inner child longs for simplicity and wants you to uncomplicate your life so you can enjoy it fully.

Let go of your pain

Turning the page in your own story means releasing what is behind you. Learn from it, forgive everyone who hurt you and move on. When you clear out the negative weight of the past, you make room for good events and good people. You cannot finish your story if you stay stuck on the same page, so find the strength within you to accept your past as a valuable lesson and open your heart to the future.

Make time to play

Children spend most of their time playing, while adults spend most of theirs working. If you never set aside time to let loose and have fun, life soon becomes dull. Try to cut back on a few obligations so you can enjoy life while you have it. Contrary to what many believe, you were not put here just to pay bills and taxes. You deserve to enjoy life for all it is worth, so get outside and play hide and seek once in a while. It will do your heart good.

See beauty the way a child does

Children do not instinctively know what ugly means, because there is no ugliness in their hearts. They do not see it in themselves or in the world around them, because they arrive knowing only love and beauty. Stand before a mirror and remind yourself that you are beautiful; repeat it often enough and you will begin to believe it, and then to see it. Let your inner child show you the world through their eyes, free of prejudice, self-hate and negative labels.

Most of us know someone who always seems to see things from the darkest angle. You may not be able to say why, but whenever you are near them your mood shifts, and you might even feel an urge to get away. That is probably because you have met someone who is addicted to negativity. Some people simply cannot see the bright side, and it affects the people around them too.

They worry about trifles

People hooked on negativity tend to make a mountain out of a molehill. A cracked plate becomes a major drama. A couple of hours later, they will have swapped that drama for a new one. Instead of enjoying ordinary days, they brood about the future, which only makes them gloomier.

They overlook the good

It does not matter whether they have just had a great day at work, received a gift or heard some good news. They fix their attention only on what they dislike about their lives and completely miss the good moments they experience. Because they ignore the positives, they are hardly aware those positives exist. When they think things over, they reach a conclusion that fits their view of the world: that they are deeply unlucky, or that their lives are worth little.

They avoid risks

They care far too much about what others think of them. A single unkind remark can shake them badly. Because they build their view of themselves on other people’s opinions, they lack objectivity, which leaves them very insecure and dependent on others.

Handling them with patience

Their behaviour can be hard to cope with, and at times almost unbearable. We need a good deal of patience, and a real effort to understand why they act this way. More often than not, their behaviour comes from a string of bad experiences. What they need most is for someone to understand them.

Everyone who sets goals can improve their chances of success with five basic tools: purpose, power, presence, potential and positivity.

Each of us carries a store of natural wisdom and joy we can draw on. Still, plenty of people sink into negative thinking and drift without direction or a goal in sight, cut off from their sense of purpose, their inner strength, their potential, their optimism and the ability to live in the moment. If you want to feel livelier, enjoy life more and spend more time on what you love, these are the ideas to start weaving into your days.

Live with purpose

Why are you here, really? Where is your life pointed? We all have something that gives us a sense of purpose, and discovering it is how we live a fuller, more meaningful life. Without it, we feel lost and flat. The Buddha’s teaching on this is often summed up simply: discover what you are here for, then pour everything you have into it.

Find your power

Inner strength is what lets you practise self-control and discipline day after day. Without it, we feel stuck. Each day we choose how we respond to our challenges. Power means acting, and sensing that you are gathering speed towards the life you have in mind. Doing the very thing you fear most is often what proves you can do almost anything.

Cultivate more positivity

Emotional wellbeing has many sources, but the key thing to understand is that we are responsible for growing our own positive feelings. Gratitude, passion and joy are a few that lift wellbeing. Appreciate what you have now while you build towards what you want later. Nurture these feelings and begin living more positively. As the novelist George Eliot observed, it will never rain roses; if we want more roses, we must plant more.

Practise mindful presence

So many people are wrapped up in longing for the future or regretting past mistakes. Yet today is truly all you have. Make the most of it and live something meaningful right now. Relax and enjoy what each day brings while you work towards the life you want. A line often credited to the philosopher Lao Tzu puts it neatly: low spirits dwell on yesterday, worry dwells on tomorrow, and peace is found only in today.

Keep expanding your potential

We are meant to grow. Our potential has no fixed ceiling, yet most people never discover how much they are capable of. When we stretch ourselves and push past our comfort zone, we feel more alive and become fuller, stronger people. You are meant to keep growing. Robert Louis Stevenson held that being ourselves, and growing into everything we are able to become, is the whole point of living.

Kindness can be described as a way of acting out of compassion, and doing so selflessly. It is a frame of mind that puts concern for others ahead of one’s own interests. When we do something truly selfless, we may even go against what would serve us best.

Why it gets overlooked

Kindness is a value that is often brushed aside. Why is it so underrated? Partly because some people see kind people as enablers, and the cynical go further and call kindness a form of selfishness.

That cynical view rests on a belief that success only comes from trampling on others or ignoring them. Yet living that way seldom brings real happiness: the feeling of being loved, the sense that your life is fulfilling its purpose, and the knowledge that what you do truly matters.

Kindness and happiness go together

In fact, kindness is tied to happiness and contentment, both in the mind and at a deeper, inner level. Observations show that happy people tend to be kinder than unhappy ones.

A simple exercise points the same way. When people counted the number of kind things they did, their sense of happiness rose. Counting their acts of kindness also made happy people kinder still, and more grateful.

A fair caution

Being too nice certainly has its pitfalls. But practising kindness brings so many good feelings with it that it is well worth the effort.

Picture yourself holding a cup of coffee. Someone walks past, knocks into you or jogs your arm, and coffee goes everywhere. Why did it spill?

The obvious answer is that someone bumped into you. That is not quite right.

What was inside

Coffee spilled because the cup held coffee. Had it held tea, tea would have spilled. Whatever is inside the cup is exactly what comes out when it is shaken.

Life does the same thing to us. Sooner or later it will come along and shake us, and when it does, whatever we are carrying inside will pour out. Keeping up appearances is easy while things are calm. It is the jolt that shows what is really there.

A question worth asking

So each of us has to ask: what is in my cup? When life gets hard, what spills over? Is it joy, gratitude, peace and humility? Or is it anger, bitterness, harsh words and harsh actions?

That part is up to us.

Filling the cup

Today is a good day to start filling our cups with the things we would be glad to see spill: gratitude, forgiveness, joy, kind and encouraging words for ourselves and others, gentleness and love. Then, when the next bump comes, that is what the people around us will receive.

Adding a few words to your vocabulary for describing yourself can lift your self-confidence. The key is to highlight your strengths instead of dwelling on your limitations. It is time to change the way you speak to yourself, using a few positive words to describe who you are.

Articulate

Are you good at communicating? A strong way to say so is to call yourself articulate. Some people may admire how well you put your ideas across. In a job interview, an employer is looking for someone who is self-assured. Tell them you are articulate, back it up with a quick example, and your communication skills will speak for themselves.

Graceful

Grace has more to do with poise than with avoiding awkward moments. Handling difficult situations in good spirits is the clearest way to show how graceful you are.

Thoughtful

You may well be considerate and compassionate, but thoughtful is an especially powerful and positive word to use about yourself. It shows that you go the extra mile for the people around you.

Words shape belief. When the words you use about yourself are accurate and generous, you begin to carry yourself the way you describe yourself.

Many people, particularly young men according to the clipping this post draws on, seem to be forever on the lookout for a partner. That is rarely a good idea. Here are a few reasons to stop.

You may be trying to fill a gap

Anyone who feels they must always have someone by their side is often short of something else in life that they are trying to make up for. It might be self-confidence, or a sense of not having achieved much. If you keep craving the attention of a girlfriend or boyfriend, pause and ask what stops you from being content by yourself.

It can pull you away from your goals

Focusing too much on someone else can stop you focusing on your own goals. Say you want to travel the world. That gets much harder when your attention is all on a relationship. Setting goals for yourself is a wonderful feeling, and it is far easier to do when you are not tied down.

You have a whole life ahead for others

If you are in your late teens or early twenties and stressing about finding a partner, think about the freedom you are wishing away. You have a decade ahead in which to travel, build your career, live cheaply, pay off debts and enjoy yourself. Nobody wants to marry too young, start a family and then regret it. So do not rush. Even if the right person does not come along until you are thirty five, you can spend the years in between discovering who you are and doing what you love.

Most people’s thinking follows a fairly predictable, textbook pattern, which is why most of us have recognisable character traits. Because of that, an average person may find it hard to follow how a creative person’s mind works. There are several things about creative people that others may never quite understand.

Creativity makes noise

Someone with a more ordinary turn of mind tends to sleep easily at night. A creative person, on the other hand, will often tell you their head is constantly busy with sound and chatter. In most people that might be a cause for worry. In creative people it is simply what a crowded, idea-filled mind feels like.

A creative mind never slows down

Creative people have even been known to complain about it. An average person’s mind eventually stops turning over ideas, unknown scenarios and possible outcomes. A creative mind keeps going.

There is always another solution

Creative people are not easily bound by what everyone else accepts. Instead of taking something as it is, they challenge an outcome, a theory or a rule. While others accept a situation, a creative person offers different ways to solve the problem. They are always asking questions, where others simply accept whatever they are told.

Creativity comes in waves

People with more average minds are likely to work more steadily than creative people. Believe it or not, creativity arrives whenever it chooses. There are stretches when nothing happens at all, and other times when ideas pour out with ease. Successful creative people have learnt to accept this rhythm for what it is. Great ideas do not arrive on command, so creative people can seem rather inconsistent.

If you live or work with a creative person, these traits are worth remembering. What looks like restlessness, argument or unreliability is often the price of the ideas they bring.